This scene from Mean Girls has probably been experienced by most of us who attended high school. Why do we sit around and shame ourselves with our friends? Sometimes body-bashing becomes a way of connecting or commiserating with other women. How often does this same chorus of negativity and shame happen in our heads when we look in the mirror? Another harmful aspect of this, is that sometimes girls point things out in themselves that you then notice in yourself, such as, "she thinks her thighs are too big? My thighs are way bigger than hers. Yikes."
Let me attest to the fact that it is SO MUCH EASIER to give in and think negative things about ourselves. I spent years living in this reality. It was almost like an addiction. Not only that, but it makes us into a victim. We often think things about ourselves that we would never think about someone else, especially a friend or sister. So why are we so mean to ourselves?
It needs to stop. I don't care what you think is "wrong" about you, you are a beautiful creation of God, with potential, beauty, and light! Your body is an amazing gift. Don't disagree with me. It is!
A huge part of my journey to self-love has been breaking the cycle of negative thinking that has dominated my mind for as long as I can remember. It takes work. I still have to work at it every day. But it has been one of the best decisions I've made for my happiness and confidence.
First, I keep positive messages about myself on my mirror, my phone screen, and on several Pinterest boards. Re-read them often, even if you don't believe them at first.
My phone screen. :)
Second, tell yourself three positive things every time you look in the mirror. After awhile, you will start to believe them. This process is important because it replaces the negative thoughts. It gradually gets easier. After years of slamming myself with negative thoughts every time I saw my reflection, it took time to break down those pathways in my brain. Sometimes I even go through my whole body, head to toe, saying to myself, "I love my hair, I love my brain, I love my head, I love my eyes, I love my nose... etc" It took me awhile to believe the "I love my thighs," one, but I'm getting there. :)
How I used to feel while looking in the mirror...
Third, I pray every day that I can be confident and feel God's love for me. A deep knowledge of His love helps me to love myself, and love others. I know that it hurts God when we verbally or physically abuse the beautiful bodies He created for us! He loves us exactly how we are, and we need to strive to do the same, no matter what stage of health we are in. And I fully believe that when we love our bodies, and recognize them as a gift from God, we are positively motivated to take care of them. I don't feel like exercising or eating healthily when I feel bad about myself.
Fourth, build up those around you. Don't let other women talk bad about themselves in front of you, and don't talk bad about others. Give genuine compliments. Look for the beauty in everyone and everything! Once you start noticing beauty, you'll be able to notice it in yourself, too--physical, spiritual, intellectual, and every other type of beauty that you and those around you exude.
I challenge all of you reading this to commit today to start breaking the cycle of negative self-talk! This negativity isn't exclusive to our bodies. We can be down on ourselves about anything, and none of it is helpful. Treat yourself like someone you love, and you will come to love yourself. I know you can do it! It is so worth it, and you deserve it, because you are beautiful.
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