How often is food labeled as either "good" or "bad?" Or a particular type of dessert described as "sinful?" Whenever someone is dieting, you hear things like, "I was so bad today." Wait a minute. Since when did eating certain things affect our morality? In many other cultures, meals are based on tradition, family, pleasure, and nourishment, not about how little we can eat and still survive.
Food is what we use to fuel our bodies! You wouldn't try running your car on little or no gas, because the gas might make your car fat. I repeat: FOOD IS NOT YOUR ENEMY!
Aside from cannibalism, I'm pretty sure eating something doesn't make you a bad person.
Why does there have to be so much guilt associated with food? This turns healthy food into a punishment, and unhealthy food becomes some sort of sinful indulgence that we need to atone for with squats and juice fasts. Now, I'm NOT dissing exercise or healthy eating. I think it's super important to be healthy and take care of our bodies. I just think that it is harmful to associate so much guilt with food. That kind of thinking leads to eating disorders. Because if eating something becomes a sign of weakness, or a bad thing, that can easily transition to eating at all being a sign of weakness or a bad thing.
Back when I was dieting, and would eat something I was craving, like a cookie, it usually went like this:
Me: I shouldn't eat that. Cookies are bad. That cookie will make me fat.
Cookie: But I'm so delicious! Look at all the chocolate. You've been good all morning. You didn't even eat breakfast. One cookie won't hurt.
Me: *eats cookie* Crap. Now I blew it! I'm so horrible. I have no self-control. Why did I eat that cookie? *proceeds to obsess about the cookie for another two hours*
Coworker: Hey, do you want a doughnut?
Me: Well, I already blew it by eating that cookie, so I guess today is shot. *Proceeds to eat two donuts, another cookie, and then feels guilty and depressed for the rest of the day, and thinks about skipping dinner to make up for it.* (Stay tuned for a future post about my history of emotional eating.)
So, aside from the fact that past Beth was having a conversation with a cookie, this scenario presents several problems. First of all, past Beth has associated her worth and will-power based on a cookie. Second, the cookie has then taken over her mind and life for a period of time. Third, the cookie obsession lead past Beth to eat much more than she wanted to, because she felt worthless and bad about herself already. This is clearly problematic. Beth now will stop referring to herself in third person.
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To eat or not to eat? EAT. Your body needs fuel, people.
When there isn't so much guilt associated with food, I'm able to rationally assess a situation, listen to my body, and decide if I really want a cookie or not. Sometimes I decide that I do, and then I eat the cookie and move on. Sometimes I decide that I'm really not hungry, and then I similarly make the decision to abstain, and move on. This attitude is much more balanced for me, and has helped me not spend so much time thinking and obsessing about food.
With this new outlook, the power is in my hands, not the food. Eat to fuel and nourish your amazing body, and eat what makes you feel good. Find what works for you. The point is, you aren't a bad person if you eat a cookie, or even twelve cookies. In fact, the amount of cookies you eat doesn't have anything to do with your worth as a human being or your morality. And neither, for that matter, does your weight. If you are trying to get healthier, that's awesome! Just know that you don't have to hate yourself and hate food through the process.
I remember when I was twelve and at a youth event with other girls. We had cookies (coincidentally) and I remember some of the female youth leaders talking about how they were going to have to go running after this to "make up" for eating the cookie. I think that was the first time I heard food associated directly with worth and behavior and I remember thinking the same type of thing you wrote about, "Wait, it's just a cookie. Cookies aren't "bad", are they?" But almost all the adult women around me sent the same message. Dessert. sugar, anything that tastes really good = weakness.
ReplyDeleteAs a young girl I ate a cookie, enjoyed it, and moved on. As an adult, I learned more about nutrition and eventually developed the personal philosophy that I would try to eat 80-90% nourishing foods, and then enjoy the other 10%-20% with no guilt. (Obviously everyone has to find their own balance, method, etc.). But it took a lot of conscience decisions to get past the oh so common social norm that you are only a strong, good person if you refuse all desserts. Many of my happiest memories of my life are sitting with family or friends enjoying food (and dessert!) together. Who I am to those people means so much more then whether or not I eat the cookie (or second or third).