Love Yourself First

A few weeks ago, I read this blog post all about self-love and only caring about the opinions, specifically about our bodies, of those who matter. In the case of this blogger, it is her husband, who tells her every morning when she wakes up that she is "the prettiest wife in the world." It's really beautiful and you should all read it. I admire this woman's honesty in expressing her self-doubts, and revealing that sweet and sacred relationship she shares with her husband.

On the other hand, it hurt me to hear the way she was talking about herself. She mentions her stretch marks, her dark circles, her saggy breasts, and sums it up by calling herself "complete destruction." Maybe that's really how she feels, but that makes it all the more sad. I'm glad this woman has her husband to help her feel beautiful, but I wish somehow she could see the beauty in herself, too, not just by taking his word for it.

As I was reading this blog, my initial response was a sharp ache in my recently-dumped heart. So much of my life I sought validation of my beauty through guys, which never really came. Even when I did get compliments, I couldn't let myself believe them, because I didn't see it myself. I never ever believed that a man would think I was beautiful, especially compared to how I felt I "measured up" to other women.

All that changed with the last guy I was dating. He thought I was gorgeous, and told me that daily. I felt desired and adorable and I liked it. It was almost addicting to me--finally having this long-sought validation of my beauty from the male gender! I felt like I was on track for the type of husband who, in spite of my stretch-marks, would tell me I was the most beautiful wife in the world. Here's the thing, though. We broke up, and I'm single, again, and to use the Austen phrase, I currently have "no prospects" (at least in the dating arena). Does this mean I can no longer find beauty in my body, because there is no male to tell me I'm beautiful? Pardon my french, but hell no!

We all deserve to feel beautiful, regardless of what anyone says or doesn't say about it. We can love ourselves and be confident, no matter what stage we are in life. Even if we do have people tell us we are beautiful every day, we still need to tell ourselves that. You can do and be anything you want, and you have limitless joy, beauty, and confidence possible for you. Do not wait for someone to tell you you are beautiful, tell yourself that. And guess what? It's true.