Why I'm Not "Trying to Lose a Few Pounds"

I'm not trying to lose weight. In fact, as earlier mentioned, I don't even weigh myself anymore. Here's the thing; I can still be healthy, productive, worthwhile, and yes, beautiful, even if I never diet or weigh myself ever again. That's my personal choice, and based on what I need to maintain emotional health and stability.

It is always funny to see the reactions I get when, during a conversation about health or weight loss, I say, "I'm actually really happy with my body." I enjoy throwing that verbal grenade out there, because of the way people react. Some are incredulous, awkward, or even shocked. Loving yourself is a radical concept among women, and one that is not widely practiced or accepted. We are in a world of shame-induced fitness, a culture obsessed with being skinny, and where women are often brainwashed via society that their greatest value lies in their looks. We aren't doing our job as women if we aren't trying to change or fix something about ourselves. 

The thing is, media, and society in general, seem to think it is okay to give unwelcome, unwanted, and often hateful or shaming commentary about other people's bodies, more especially women's bodies. Not only is this evident through the constant barrage of products and foods catered towards helping women lose weight, look thinner, or fit into the prescribed societal beauty standards, but unfortunately, the rise of social media and the "selfie" has opened a world of online hate and shaming never before seen so publicly. This shaming comes from many angles: fat-shaming, thin-shaming, fit-shaming, slut-shaming . . . we see it in the People magazine "beach body" edition, we see it on plus-model's Instagram pages.

Don't believe me? Check out Tess Holliday on instagram. She was just signed as the first ever size 22 model, and boy do some people feel it their duty to tell her how unhealthy she is.

But since when is shaming people a way to accomplish anything good? There is really no way of knowing what stage of their health journey someone is in. They could have just lost 60 pounds, and how damaging to their self-esteem and how awful to judge them or their choices based on something we really know nothing about. And what about other health issues that can prevent people from losing weight easily?

So many plus-sized models get ridiculed from society about being an unhealthy role-models. How do we know? The aforementioned Tess Holliday works out every day. Even if she didn't, though, why do people think it's okay to try and tell her she should lose weight? What is so offensive about women being happy with their bodies, no matter what size they are? We don't need permission or approval from anyone in order to love ourselves.

Some of you may be thinking, "if women put pictures or videos on the internet, they open themselves up to the scrutiny and comments of others." Well, I have to disagree. Yes, there is always a risk when putting pictures or videos online, but women existing in a social media platform does not validate others insulting or shaming them, any more than a woman walking down the street warrants comments from cat-callers (street harassers).

In doing research for this blog, I was saddened by how many women have been exposed to shame, ridicule, and hate via social media for loving their bodies, or daring to be happy with their size that someone else deems unhealthy. Why can't we all be kind? We should love and accept everyone, and treat them with respect as a fellow human being. We are in charge of our own health and our own bodies, and no one else has the right to force their opinion or standard of health on us. I want to reiterate again that I believe in eating healthy and exercising.What I don't believe in is shame as a valid motivator.  For those readers out there who are trying to lose weight, I applaud you for striving to be healthier, and I hope that you can be motivated by a love for yourself and your body, not through shame and self-hatred.

A rejection of shame should start with yourself. Imagine how much more we could accomplish if we loved ourselves and others, and didn't let shame hold us back from doing what we want and sharing who we are with the world?